so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
