I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
