I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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