You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
