Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
