i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
