That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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