I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
