Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
