Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
