I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
