Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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