He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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