We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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