First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
