everyone is single if you try hard enough
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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