yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am spending my child support on dildos
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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