kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
