No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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