Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
