At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
