just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
