this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
