I want to stick my p in your. b.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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