Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
