so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
