apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
