I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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