It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
