I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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