She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
