you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
