those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
