Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
