and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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