We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
