the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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