hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
