Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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