Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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