she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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