I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
