Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
