Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
