Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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