Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
