no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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