can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
