Sponge bath it is.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
