what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
