Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
