Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
