Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
