Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She even gives head with a lisp.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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